It Started With A Hat
by gacktsgal
Summary: Naruto and his group of friends were tired of the same office routine, so they come up with a game to play. Except it got the attention of their jerk of a boss, Sasuke Uchiha. SasuNaru, yaoi, swearing, sexual themes.
1. Spark of Life

**Disclaimer: I do not Naruto or any of its characters. Except in my head.**

**A/N: Geez I'm just a little writing beast today. Just over 3000 words of R&F and I get home from work and my brain's like, "You know what, you should see what you can do with that office fic you've been thinking of!" Well fine then. With that in mind, I'm going to be vague with Sasuke's business, it's not something I'm very knowledgeable on and Google was failing me when I tried researching office life and jobs. If anyone wants to help out, I'll love ya 4ever. And less is more, right?**

**This fic is also inspired by Dumb Dares by CloudNineKitty, which is a hilarious and great fic. Just the concept of the office games, I've had a hankering to write a boss!Sasuke for a while now. Onwards!**

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**It Started With a Hat**  
**Chapter 1 - Spark of Life**

Naruto was sprawled out on the couch in the coffee shop, his white dress shirt not buttoned up all the way, and he was trying very hard to not doze off. While it was early, yes, he should be used to it by now; he's been getting up this early for a year now. Most of the time.

A bell overhead went off, signaling that customers were coming in. Naruto sat up, and finally, one by one, his friends walked in. Sakura, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Lee. Naruto stood up to order the croissant he's been eyeing—he himself wasn't that fond of coffee—and Shikamaru flopped down on the couch he previously occupied. "What are we, the cast of Friends?"

Naruto tore into the buttery morsel and said, "Har har," ignoring the disgusted look Sakura sent his way. He swallowed. "Would you rather go back to meeting up at the office and getting snarled at by the dick that is our boss? Besides, this place is in walking distance, and it's convenient."

Sakura sat down next to Shikamaru, a frappuccino in hand. "I was getting scared he was going to set us on fire by glaring alone. This place is more comfortable, at least." As if to prove a point, she settled into the couch more, smiling.

Kiba, Naruto's best friend and the only one in the group who he knew before this job, was wolfing down a muffin, a stray blueberry already on the side of his mouth. "He acted like we were chilling out in his damn office instead of the employee break room."

"You guys are being a bit too harsh on Mr. Uchiha!" Lee said. The rest of them groaned, knowing what was coming. "He's spending his youth stressed over a business. We should pull together our efforts to throw him a party to show our appreciation!"

"I don't appreciate him," Naruto sighed. "He's sadistic, and it's creepy how stoic he always is, and his glares could be used as a weapon of mass destruction."

"Which is a shame," Sakura mused. "He really is very sexy. Maybe if I borrowed Kakashi's mask to give to Mr. Uchiha so I could sleep with him without having to look at his scowls and glares..."

They pretended she said nothing at all.

Shikamaru groaned. "This job really is troublesome. Weird coworkers, a tightwad of a boss, the same things day in and day out for the past year. I should just quit and try a career in..." He trailed off. He was too lazy to aspire to anything, really.

Naruto sat down at a coffee table that was next to the couch, slamming down a hand on it. The owner of the shop glared at him. "We should do something fun in the office. Liven things up."

"I have a nice porn collection," Kiba offered. "Quite a few lesbian ones, that'll liven things up."

"I'm not talking about that, and we'd be fired faster than it'd take for them to pull their shirt off. Like, I don't know... a game or something. I'll think of something."

"Oh!" Sakura said. "An acquaintance of mine told me about a game they played in her office. She didn't like it, though, thought it was dumb. They basically made up an invisible rope that stretched across the office and everyone had to remember to avoid it by going under or over."

Shikamaru gave a "meh," holding his hand in a 'so-so' gesture.

Lee jumped up and down. "We could make a game of not touching the floor!"

"I like that idea," Kiba agreed, and the others nodded. "Knowing my luck I'll be zooming somewhere in my chair and I'd run over Mr. Uchiha, though."

Naruto snickered. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I'd be fired!"

"My point exactly." The blond got a kick in the shin.

He grimaced, hopping on one leg to rub his shin for a moment. "What about something like a truth or dare?"

"Truth would be boring," Sakura said. "We could just stick to dares. Maybe we can just find a list of dares or something and we could vote on the dare and who would do it for that day."

Shikamaru glanced at his watch, and signaled to the others that it was time to start heading out. They threw away their trash, Lee deciding to slam dunk his into the trash can, and walked out into the nice summer morning.

"We should all do a dare every day," Lee said.

Shikamaru nodded. "More fun that way. And we should make a point system, and the winner gets something cool at the end of next month. It could be something to look forward to each day and actually care about doing."

Naruto nodded, feeling more and more excited about this. The boring office life is about to be over! He glanced into a clothes shop window they were walking by, and the lightbulb went off. "Guys, hold on for just a moment!" and he ran inside.

The group waited, every few seconds or so checking their watch. Finally, Naruto came back outside, an ugly stovepipe hat on his head, another in his hands. Kiba raised an eyebrow and snorted. "The hell are you doing with those?"

"These," Naruto paused dramatically, "are our Dare Hats!" He swept the one off his head and gave a bow to his audience. "It'll be great, I have the idea now. We can all get slips of paper, write as many dares on them as we can think of, whether it's a prank or saying something to someone. We can give them to Shikamaru who can assign each one a number of points, and each day we draw one randomly and we have to do the dare before we go home."

Lee clapped his hands at the show. "What is the second hat for, though?"

"Oh, yeah. Not only are the dares random, but who do the dare to. We'll exclude ourselves, and put everyone else's name in the second hat."

Sakura chewed on a thumbnail. "So each day we'll be doing a random thing, and the name we draw is who we do it to, or say it to? Can the dares be a general thing? Like doing an air guitar show in the middle of the office?"

"I don't see why not."

Shikamaru followed Lee's hand clap, and grinned. "It sounds like we have ourselves an office game. I'll think of a prize to make it worth it, you guys work on some dares and get them back to me tomorrow. That'll give me the weekend to get the points sorted, and maybe add more dares to the mixture."

Kiba cackled as the group continued their way to the office. "And Monday our new office life begins."

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**This was more of an introductory chapter to see what you guys thought of the idea. And the only setting won't be coffee shop/office, if anyone is wondering. Continue, or should I just stop and throw this fic under a train?**


	2. Fezzes Are Cool

**Whoo, it makes me happy to see there's an interest in this story. :D I really appreciate the reviews, and if anyone has any questions or just comments in general, feel free to do so, and I'll try to respond.**

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**Chapter 2: Fezzes Are Cool  
**

It was the next morning, and the group was once more sitting in the couches and chairs of the coffee shop. The group was dropping fistfuls of paper slips into one hat, while Shikamaru had two small square pieces of paper out on which he wrote 'Dares' and 'Targets' with sharpie. He tore off some clear tape and placed them on the two hats.

"We need a place to put these hats," Shikamaru said. "I can bring them from home each morning, but maybe we can hide them somewhere in the employee break room while at work?"

"I don't like the idea of someone finding them on accident," Sakura said.

"Me neither," Naruto agreed. "Maybe in one of our cubicles?"

Kiba shuddered. "What if Mr. Uchiha does some snooping?" The rest of them flinch at the mere thought of it.

Someone cleared their throat, and they look over to see the coffee shop owner, whose name was Asuma Sarutobi. He fiddled around with an unlit cigarette in his mouth, before saying, "I couldn't help overhearing you guys yesterday and this morning. If you want, I can keep the two hats under the counter."

Naruto grinned. "That would be awesome of you."

Lee jumped up. "We have our official headquarters!"

"Calm down, Lee. Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered the last part, dragging a hand down his face. He turned back to the shop owner. "Thanks Mr. Sarutobi."

"Call me Asuma."

"Right," he nodded, grinning slightly, and turned back to his other friends. "We should be heading to work soon. I'll bring the dares home with me over the weekend and work on the points system, some prizes, and a score sheet. I have some other things to do this weekend, so I'll see you guys here on Monday morning."

The anticipation of their game was now palpable.

* * *

Soon enough, it was Monday morning, and for once Naruto wasn't feeling draggy. He was excited. The game hasn't even officially started and it has improved his outlook towards work! Amazing! He showed up ten minutes early and he was bouncing up in his down from his seat on the couch, Asuma smirking at him in amusement the whole time.

The others entered the shop finally, and Asuma slapped a hand on the counter to get their attention. "Don't tell anyone, but just for today, any tall drink and food item, on the house."

Lee, Naruto, and Kiba were the most vocal about this unexpected surprise. "Thank you for contributing to our youthful needs, Asuma!"

"God yes croissant please!"

"Fuck yeah!"

Shikamaru had a rolled up poster board under his arm and his free coffee in one hand, the Dares hat in the other. After everyone was settled in, and Asuma had given him the Targets hat, he put both hats down on the middle table. "Asuma, would it be possible for the poster board to be put on the wall behind the counter?"

The owner thought for a moment, the ever-present unlit cigarette sticking from the side of his mouth. "I don't see why not, but if anyone asks about it, I'm telling them the truth."

"That's fine. Just don't say where we work or our names. Thank you." He unrolled the poster board, revealing 'Na' 'Sh' 'Sa' 'Le' and 'Ki' across the top. "The first two letters of each of our names," he explained at the look of confusion on Kiba's face, annoyed. "Each dare is worth between two, three, or five points, depending on the challenge or risk involved. You get two extra points if you do the dare where others will witness it, like with the target's group of friends or during a meeting. None of the targets will give you extra points except for Mr. Uchiha. If you draw his name and carry out the challenge, you'll get an extra three points."

"Okay," Kiba interrupted. "So say I get a dare to give Mr. Uchiha a wedgie that's worth five points. I do it during a meeting." The group snickered at the thought. "I get ten points?"

"Correct. And if anyone ever gets a dare like that, godspeed." The snickered turned to snorts. "Each person has until the end of the work day to do the dare. When drawing the papers, put the targets back in the hat, but each challenge will only be done once, so throw whatever dare you draw away."

"One last question," Sakura said. "What if it's an in general dare, let's go back to the air guitar show. Does the two point bonus apply?"

"Yes."

"Okay Shikamaru," Sakura said. "The prizes now!"

He rolled his eyes. "The three highest scores will get the prizes. First place, the two lowest scores will have to cook and clean their place for a month."

"I'm going to be first place!" Naruto said, grinning. Whoever would cook for him would be seeing a whole lot of ramen.

"Second place is my 360 and its game collection. I've gotten bored with it."

"Mine!" Kiba yelled. Naruto looked torn between the cleaning and cooking service and the game console.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Third place will be a $100 gift card for Amazon. And yes, Sakura," he added, seeing the gleam in her eyes, "If you want MyHabit that can be done, as well." The pink-haired girl squealed.

"Lovely youthful prizes, my friend!" Lee said.

"Really though," Naruto added, nodding thoughtfully, "they're pretty good prizes, I think. Are you guys ready to start?" The group nodded in agreement, and after hanging up the score sheet on the wall, Asuma joined them.

Lee went first, drawing a slip from the Dares hat. He bit his lip, snorted, and drew his Target. Any amount of amusement left his face, and he put the paper back into the Targets hat. Naruto drew after Lee, and then Shikamaru, and then Sakura, and finally Kiba. Sakura gnawed on her lip thoughtfully. "I need to stop by a shop really fast."

* * *

The group strolled onto their floor, Lee was glancing at the boss' office, which appeared to be occupied. Sakura refused to tell them what she bought until they were inside, and as she reached into the bag and pulled something dark red out, all attention was on her. "So," she hesitated. "I get four points for wearing a fez all day." With that she put the thing on, and the friends erupted into chortles. Everyone else in the office were doing double-takes. She blushed and pouted.

"You know what the Doctor would say!" Kiba said, but he groaned when all he got were blank looks. "Never mind."

"Sakura," said a female voice, and they glanced over Ino, a pretty long-haired blonde who was Mr. Uchiha's secretary. "If you're trying to hide the billboard forehead, a fez won't work." She smirked, and Naruto imagined she was getting smirking lessons from the boss.

"I have nothing to hide, bitch," Sakura said calmly, and turned away from the pissy-looking Ino and strode over to her cubicle, oozing dignity. Which they had to give her props for, seeing as how she was wearing a fez. Ino stuck her nose in the air and muttered something as she left, while Shikamaru followed her with an odd gleam in his eye.

"What's up, Shikamaru?" Naruto asked.

"Can one of you guys make sure she doesn't return for about ten to fifteen minutes?"

Naruto smirked and followed Ino, sure Shikamaru's business had something to do with the game. He got behind her in the elevator, completely ignored, and she pushed the button for the first floor. "Where ya goin'?"

She looked at him like he was a bug. "To my car. Is that okay with you?"

"Definitely. Just asking." The elevator doors opened and he followed her through the floor and out the main doors, and when she heard him still behind her, she stopped and whirled around.

"What the hell do you want, Naruto?"

"Zeus," he said. He tried his best to keep his face blank.

"... What?"

"Call me Zeus, not Naruto."

* * *

Kakashi sighed as he tried to staple some papers, only to find the staples in it ran out. He opened a drawer and dug some out to refill it, annoyed. He could have sworn he just filled it before leaving for the weekend, but whatever.

After he was finished, he grabbed the now-stapled sheets of paper and went over to the secretary's desk to drop them off, only to see a shifty-eyed Shikamaru and a labeler. That he was using to label things. Everything. Each drawer, her desk, her chair, her pens, just everything. They stared at each other for a moment.

"Yo," Shikamaru said.

"I won't ask." Kakashi tossed the papers on her desk and went back to his cubicle. Grabbing some more papers that he wanted to staple—he really loved stapling, it was weird, really—he pushed down on the stapler.

It was empty again.

* * *

Zeus' face was burning. She had only been gone about six minutes so he had resorted to kissing her to distract her. Not only was it completely disgusting—he had figured out years and years ago he preferred men—but she shoved him off and slapped him so hard he feared some skin flew off. He was ashamed to say he teared up and ran back inside so he could be hiding in his cubicle by the time she got back.

The elevator doors finally opened to the 5th floor, and before it closed again, he punched in every other floor first so hopefully it'll take awhile to get to her back on the main floor. Glancing over to her desk he was happy to see Shikamaru was done with his task, which he snorted at when he saw all the labels everywhere.

He popped into Kiba's cubicle, ducking below the wall. "Shikamaru labeled every single item at Ino's desk," he snickered, which Kiba joined in on. "Anything else happen while I was outside trying to distract Ino and getting slapped?"

"Sakura's still wearing the fez, she's gotten quite a few comments on it. I overheard Neji asking if he could borrow it, which was kind of weird. I'm keeping an eye on Kakashi, I keep removing—"

There was a loud bang as something hit the wall, followed by a clatter as whatever object fell to the ground. The two friends peered outside to see it was a stapler. "... The staples from his stapler?"

"Yep." They smirked.

"Do you know what Lee's doing?"

"I don't know, he's been keeping a close eye on Mr. Uchiha so I'm guessing he was the target, sadly. Mr. Uchiha went somewhere and I saw Lee slip into his office, but I don't know what he's doing."

"What the hell? Why is everything labeled in my goddamn workspace?" Snorts of laughter escaped and they tried to quiet it down. "Who did this?!" She was starting to get loud and even more pissed off.

"Miss Yamanaka, can you please shut up?" Mr. Uchiha was back, and Zeus felt a pang of worry for Lee. "What's the issue?"

"Someone labeled everything on my—it doesn't matter. I need to speak to you about someone." She apparently had lowered her voice, they couldn't even hear her whispering.

"It's probably about me trying to kiss her," he winced.

His friend blanched. "You_ kissed_—"

"Mr. Uzumaki." The blond flinched, exiting Kiba's cubicle.

"Yes Mr. Uchiha? And I'd prefer Zeus, sir. Just for today." He heard Kiba suck in his breath.

Mr. Uchiha's eyes searched him for a while, and narrowed. They were so dark, they just pierced your soul and left you shivering in fear and peeing yourself. "In my office, _Zeus_. Yamanaka, get back to your desk, and remove those stupid labels. Why would you even do that?" Not caring about any answer she would give, he went to his door, Zeus now right behind him.

As he opened his door, Zeus was gobsmacked at what he was seeing. There was Lee, on Mr. Uchiha's desk. He froze the moment he saw his boss, in an awkward pose that had his legs spread and his arms reaching up. "What the fuck are you doing on my desk?"

The poor bushy-eyed man scrambled down. "I... I uh... I really needed to speak to you about something, but I saw a horrible looking spider on your ceiling. I think it was venomous! So in my eternal youth and selflessness I braved the climb up on your desk—"

"Get out."

"Okay."

Zeus and Mr. Uchiha were now alone. Zeus could feel himself quivering, a tight ball of nerves in his stomach. Oh god he was going to get sued and put on a sex offender list or something and he'd have no more job. The boss went over to his desk, studied it for a moment, wiping away the spot where Lee looked like he was doing jumping jacks, and sat down. "Come down from Mount Olympus and sit," he demanded. Zeus obeyed.

"Now, what's this Ino is telling me about you molesting her in the parking lot?"

The blond reddened, mentally punching himself for the distracting method he chose. He really needed to think better when on the spot. "I wouldn't say I molested her. I just leaned over and kissed her. There wasn't even any tongue!"

Mr. Uchiha rubbed his temple, sighing. "Why would you kiss her in the first place?"

"I was... uh... confused. Sexually." Mr. Uchiha raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. "And everyone says she's the prettiest girl here, so I kissed her to see if I felt anything." He shrugged helplessly, once more mentally punching himself for the excuse.

"Don't molest any more of your colleagues in parking lots, Mr. Uzumaki." Zeus flushed, and Mr. Uchiha started to gaze at the wall behind him, clearly done with the conversation.

"Thank you sir. Sorry sir." He got up and was almost to the door when he felt a hot gaze on him again.

"Mr. Uzumaki?"

He froze and turned to look back at his boss. "... Yes?"

"Did you clear your confusion?"

"I did, yeah." He forced out a small, trembling laugh. "I won't be kissing any more girls."

For whatever reason, he saw an odd flash in the raven's eyes, and he smirked over to his employee. "Good."

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**Whoo, that's that. :x For clarification, I'll give ages. Naruto and the rest of the guys in the office are 22-23 for the most part, Sasuke is 24.**


	3. Shuffled

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. :(**

**A/N: And here 'tis chapter 3! Glad you guys are liking it so far. **

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**Chapter 3: Shuffled**

Lee - 8

Naruto - 4

Sakura - 4

Kiba - 3

Shikamaru - 2

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They had all drawn their slips for the second day of the office game. All of them looked satisfied, though Naruto felt a tad uncomfortable at the thought of returning to Mr. Uchiha's office. The way he practically eye-raped him yesterday was weird. Maybe his boss had a bad cup of coffee that morning and the leer was really diarrhea. That made sense. Naruto felt better, and smiled at his friends.

Behind him, he heard another customer walking in but thought nothing of it. However, Kiba's eyes widened a bit and he said, "Hi Hinata! Darling!" Naruto lunged at the nearest hat—the Dares Hat—and yanked it on his head before the slips had a chance to fall out. Sakura did the same with the Targets Hat.

Hinata reached the group and eyed Sakura and Naruto oddly. "Is this where you guys meet up now?" she asked quietly. It took her a while before she felt comfortable enough around her boyfriend's friends before she stopped stuttering, but she would always be soft-spoken.

"Yep," Kiba said. "Just a bro thing. Us hanging out here. Just us bros and... Asuma. Over there." Asuma's eyes twinkled in amusement as he waved to Hinata, who blushed, and Sakura pumped a fist in the air in agreement. She could totally be a bro.

"Are you denying me bro status?" Asuma called over. "After all I do for you brats?"

Lee ran over to give a shocked Asuma a hug. "You and your internal youth will always be dear to us, Mr. Asuma!" He was shoved off but thought nothing of it.

Hinata ignored the weirdness going on around her and shuffled up to the counter to order. "I... I um... one choc-chocolate smoothie p-please. Small." She squeaked the last part out, and Asuma said nothing about her nervousness as he went about making the drink. They saw her looking at the poster board with the scores curiously, but she didn't ask about it. She was handed her drink and she paid, and she went back over to the group, sipping her drink. "I promised to meet Temari before work, so I'll see you in the office."

They waved goodbye at it, and when she left, Naruto and Sakura leaned over and took the hats off before setting them back down on the table. They checked each other's heads for any stray slips and declared themselves paper-free. Kiba was rolling his lower lip between his teeth, and glanced over at the owner. "You have doughnuts here, right?"

"Yeah, want one?"

"Do you have any really stale ones around?" Now his friends were looking at him oddly, though they all figured it had something to do with his task.

Asuma smirked. "You bet. I'll fix you up a box." He winked before going into the backroom. After that, the group set out to their job, rode the elevator to their floor, and Kiba planted the doughnuts on the table in the break room.

"Pretty tame dare today, eh?" Shikamaru said, and Kiba just shrugged.

"Easy two points for me."

"Four," Shikamaru drawled. Kiba looked confused for a moment, then understood when he remembered the two-point bonus. "I wish I had your task, though. Mine is going to be troublesome."

"What is it?" Sakura asked, sipping some water from a paper cup.

"Physical activity." He said it in a way that someone else would say 'my dog peed on my leg.' They all gave him comforting pats on the shoulder.

They left the break room and headed to their cubicles. Sakura stopped right in front of her's, fisted her hand over air, twisted, and pulled out as if she were opening a door. Naruto giggled, Kakashi ignored it while Iruka looked worried. Sakura pretended to slam the 'door' in their faces after blushing.

Lee slipped into his cubicle and started editing a document Chouji had sent him. Every so often he would peek over his cubicle to look at Tenten's, waiting for her to leave. She caught him once and gave him a flat look. "Do you need something?"

Just then Shikamaru ran past him, and he watched as he ran around the perimeter of the room. He barely managed to stop himself from running into the boss as the latter came from around the corner. The older man jumped back and fixed the pony-tailed one with a glare. "What are you doing, Nara?"

Shikamaru just shrugged lazily. "Getting the blood pumping. You know me."

"Just... sit down," Mr. Uchiha sighed and made his way to his office.

"No," Lee finally replied to Tenten, before sitting back down and trying to cover his fit of laughter.

* * *

It was finally time to break for lunch. Naruto stood up and stretched, heard his back give a few pops and he smiled appreciatively. He turned around and his eyes met Mr. Uchiha's. "Good afternoon."

His boss quirked an eyebrow up and went over to stand next to the blond as he waited for his friends to be ready to go, so close that their shoulders were brushing. "Are you still Zeus today?" He looked over at his employee.

Naruto blushed, and tried to force it down when he saw that his boss noticed the blush. "No, I got bored of that." He cleared his throat nervously. What was he supposed to ask him again?

"Hn," the raven said. "Do an activity that doesn't bore you, then." Those eyes, those cursed dark eyes. He was being eye-raped again, he swore it! Did his boss used to always look at him this way, or was his imagination just going haywire?

"Wise advice," the blond replied, unable to help the sarcasm from leaking out. He received a smirk instead of a rebuke, however, and his boss was gone. Naruto let his shoulders relax, not knowing when he got all tensed up in the first place. He saw his friends waiting for him near the elevator, watching in amusement, and he went to join him.

The bad thing with the elevator right now was that Mr. Uchiha was riding down to the cafe with them. Naruto shuffled in with his friends and stood in a back corner, eyeing the gravity-defying raven hair from behind as his boss planted himself in front of the blond. The elevator was awkwardly quiet, and he saw Mr. Uchiha smirking in the reflection from the doors. They finally reached the main floor and after sending the man behind him a sultry smirk, he walked out first.

Once him and his friends were situated at a table with food in front of them, he said, "I think the boss is hitting on me."

Sakura choked on her cheeto puff. "Huh?! How do you figure?" Shikamaru didn't look all that surprised, but Lee and Kiba's jaws were hanging open in bafflement.

"He keeps giving me these weird... like... sexy looks. And innuendo. Like he told me to find an activity that won't bore me, but he said it with this confusing glint in his eye and this sexy smirk and... what?" They were looking at him in amusement.

"We're getting the impression that you think Mr. Uchiha is sexy," Shikamaru said, grinning lightly.

"What? I never said he was...," he paused as he thought back on what he said a few seconds before. "Oh. Shut up! He's my boss!"

Silence descended on the small group then, with them flashing Naruto cheery knowing looks every now and then, which he ignored. Finally, Lee said, "What's a good place to hide someone's chair?"

"The elevator," Naruto said immediately.

"Outside the building," Shikamaru offered.

"The bathroom," Kiba said. "Preferably the opposite sex's bathroom. Whose chair are you stealing?"

"Tenten's. I'm going to leave lunch early and do it while she's still down here." They all looked over at the girl across the room, chatting away with coworkers, completely oblivious to the horror that will soon happen to her.

"Do it now before she finishes. She usually gets done pretty fast," Sakura said. Lee nodded and dumped his food in the trash before high-tailing it out of the cafe to go back upstairs. Sakura looked around at the remaining three. "Is everyone else done with their task? I just keep having to pretend I have a door on my cubicle." She sighed. "Earlier Neji came by and referred me to a doctor he knew." They snickered.

"I was running laps around the office, but after almost knocking the 'sexy' Mr. Uchiha down—" he paused to smirk at Naruto, who blushed, "—he yelled at me to stop my nonsense."

"I still have to visit Mr. Uchiha's office." The blond sighed.

Kiba smirked. "You should do that now while the office is mostly empty. He usually eats up there in his office, the workaholic." The blond knew his friend was right. He nodded and dejectedly stood up from the table and made his way back upstairs.

When he entered the room, he saw the boss' office light was on. He was suddenly hit with nerves and he made for the bathroom first, ignoring the chair sitting in the corner as he emptied his bladder. After that was finished and he washed his hands, he sucked in his breath and passed the secretary's desk and knocked on Mr. Uchiha's.

"Come in." He sounded bored, and like he had something in his mouth. Naruto turned away any lewd thoughts, and pushed the door open and slipped into the office. Mr. Uchiha saw him and that predatory look returned to his eyes, making Naruto gulp. "Uzumaki, what do you want?"

"A um... ah... deck of playing cards."

His boss paused, a look of confusion crossing his face. He swallowed whatever he was chewing on and leaned forward on his desk, making sure his clothes didn't touch the salad. "Excuse me?"

"You see, my computer is down, and there's no way of playing Solitaire," he blabbered. "So I need a deck of playing cards."

The older man stood up and slowly walked around his desk until he was standing right in front of Naruto. "Your computer is fine, Uzumaki," he said softly, his face way too close to Naruto's, which just made his blush again. Why was he acting like such a damn virgin around the man?

"Is it? That's amazing news! My workday is saved!" Naruto grinned happily and made as if to leave, but his wrist was grabbed and he yelped in surprise as he was turned around once more to face the Uchiha.

"Is this your ruse?" he asked, still using that low breathy tone of voice, making the blond shiver. "To just come in my office?" He tilted his head as he leaned in, while Naruto was mentally swearing up and down that this was another innuendo of his and he told his friends his boss was coming onto him!

Someone started knocking on his office door and that wicked glint left his eyes as he straightened back up. "What?" he snapped.

"Sir, it's Tenten, I just want to ask you something."

"Hold on, I'm wrapping up this meeting." He walked back over to his desk, opened up a drawer and pulled something out, before writing something down on a scrap piece of paper. He returned to the blond, who still stood there standing wide-eyed like a deer in a car's headlights.

The raven smirked and pressed against his employee for a moment, and reached around to put something in his back pants pocket. His hand stayed there longer than necessary, and squeezed for a fraction of a second before he let go and backed away. That damned smirk was still there. "You can go, Uzumaki."

He didn't wait to be told twice as he yanked the door open and dodged Tenten as he made his way back to his cubicle. Once there he reached into his pocket and pulled out the contents that the boss had put there: a deck of playing cards, and a piece of torn paper that contained what he assumed to be his phone number. 'That smartass,' he thought as he stared at the digits. Then he returned both to his pockets for later use.

* * *

**This one didn't feel as funny as the previous chapter, which is what I'm trying to focus on. Still trying to get into the 'humor = main objective' skin. Also, while I have quite a few dare ideas for upcoming chapters, feel free to give me your own ideas so I can add them to the list! :D**


	4. Broken Restraint

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Broken Restraint**

Lee - 11

Naruto - 9

Shikamaru - 7

Sakura - 8

Kiba - 7

* * *

Naruto: Why did you give me your number? You want to harass me outside of work now, too?

Sasuke: You didn't have to use it. Idiot. But now I will, yes.

Naruto: I didn't say I was against it, asshole.

Sasuke: I wouldn't mind you being against me.

Naruto: Wait, what? Why would you want me against you on this?

Naruto: Never mind, I got it.

Naruto: Don't ignore me, you buttfuck.

Sasuke: Yes, please.

"Would I be a horrible person if I slept with my boss?"

The reactions were funny, Naruto had to admit. Sakura choked on her coffee and almost sent some flying from her nose, Kiba's jaw was hanging open, Lee was looking excited for him, and Shikamaru still didn't look shocked at what was transpiring between the two.

"Just don't flaunt it around," Sakura warned.

"Yeah," Kiba said. "We know you, so we're not worried about it, but if someone hears about it they'll think you'll be treated special in the workplace."

"And don't have sex on my desk," Shikamaru said.

Naruto grinned. "Well now that you told me not to do it, now I have to do it." The lazy man just sighed in regret of saying anything at all.

Asuma walked up to the group, the two hats in each of his hands. "As much fun as it is to listen to you guys chat about sexual relations with your asshole boss, draw your dares so I can get my entertainment for the day." A contemplative look crossed his face. "Wow, that's really sad. That this is the highlight of each day."

Snickering at the older man, they tugged the hats away from him and set them down. Naruto steeled himself and darted his hand inside, took hold of a slip, and read it. And sighed; another one with Mr. Uchiha. The hat was doing this on purpose.

No one else drew from the target hat either, so today should be pretty entertaining if everyone but Naruto had attention-drawing tasks. They crumbled the slips of paper, finished eating and drinking whatever they had for that morning, and tossed the papers into the trash can on the way out of the coffee shop.

On the way up in the elevator, Shikamaru had gotten a piece of paper out and was writing what looked like a list. Sakura was leaning towards it to get a better view. "That's everyone on our floor. Rated out of ten. For what?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It didn't say. So I'm just writing down random numbers. It has to go up outside my cubicle."

"That's going to drive people crazy all day, trying to figure out what the rating is over," Kiba said, laughing. Naruto smirked; indeed it would.

The elevator doors opened and Hinata was waiting for them. At the sight of Kiba, she smiled. "Something happened with the girl's night out tonight. Do you want to go out to eat, someplace nice?"

"Hey hey hey, that sounds great, hun, I'll think of a place we can go." She briefly looked confused at his greeting, as were the rest of them, but she brushed it off, nodded, and went back to her cubicle.

"What the hell was that?" Naruto asked. Kiba just sighed.

"Don't ask."

* * *

Sakura sighed as she leafed through her files, not able to find the one she was looking for. She needed to have it handed in to Mr. Uchiha by lunch and yesterday she gave it to—oh. She got up and went over to Kakashi's cubicle, passing by Neji's on the way. He was wearing the fez she gave him after he asked to have it. She shook her her in wonder.

Thankfully Kakashi was there at the moment. "John, I need the files I handed you yesterday."

He looked up at her, his one visible eye crinkling in confusion. "What?"

"The file," she repeated. "I gave it to you yesterday. Did you look it over?"

"I did, yes, but I was more concerned with what you just called me. My name is not John."

She looked at him for a while, trying her best to look annoyed. "I don't have time to learn everyone's names, it's easier to just call you John."

"You knew my name yesterday..."

"Just give me the file, please."

* * *

Naruto was busy trying to twist paper clips in a certain way so that they bounced very high up after being dropped on the desk. He was very busy, indeed. More like he was putting off his visit to Mr. Uchiha's office.

"Just tell me what the list means!" He rolled his chair back to look outside his cubicle, and he saw Ino outside Shikamaru's cubicle, jabbing her finger at the list he had taped up and glaring inside.

"It's a secret."

"Bullcrap it's a secret, if it was a secret it wouldn't be here for everyone on the floor to see! This better not be based off looks, because I am _not_ a 5, I'd definitely be a 10."

"It's a secret," he repeated. Ino let out a frustrated sound and was about to tear the list down. "I'll just put it back up," he warned her. She let her arm drop and stormed off, Naruto ducking back into his cubicle before she saw him; she was still upset with him over the kiss.

"John, the boss wants to see you." That was Sakura. At the name, he could practically feel Ino's rage rolling off her.

"If you call me 'John' one more time I'm ripping your tongue out." By now he was laughing behind his hand, trying to keep quiet so the very pissed off blonde woman wouldn't hear, and Sakura and him shared a satisfied look.

He was about to get up to go to the boss' office when the boss himself left, and Kiba left his cubicle, a folder in hand. "Hey hey hey," he heard his best friend say, "I was just about to give you these to look over. Hey hey hey, when do you want me to bring them to you?"

Sasuke just looked at the brunette, looking pretty bewildered. "Just... give them to me now, I'm only going to get more coffee."

"Hey hey hey, okay sir, thanks."

"Kiba?"

"Hey hey hey, yes?"

"Why are you doing that?"

Kiba must have sensed the man was getting annoyed, since he responded with a sheepish shrug. Ino—or John, depending on who you asked—watched, a grin on her face.

"Stop doing it." With that, he took the folder from Kiba's hands and left. Naruto sighed, sitting back down at his desk; he had a few more minutes then, before he went to go see him.

After a while, he heard Ino greet Mr. Uchiha as he came back, and a grunt as he barely acknowledged her and went inside his office. Naruto got up and walked through the office to the boss' door, noticing Ino was looking pretty pouty. Oh well. He knocked, and a bored voice from the other side told him to enter.

He closed the door and the raven looked up, his face going from blank to surprised. "Well, well, if it isn't you." He was already smirking, and Naruto needed to do the task before the boss started to do something that may distract him.

"I have something important to talk about. Work-related," he said in his most serious voice.

"Continue."

"Well... ah... do you know what I like about Japan?" he asked, and Sasuke gave him a flat, 'this has to do with what?' look. "Their vending machines. I mean their vending machines you can buy this awesome shit like living crabs, hot food and drinks, even panties. I'm here to request that this office implement a panty vending machine."

The boss was silent as he twirled a pen in his fingers. The silence stretched. And then, finally, "Naruto, you're gay. Or do you like roleplaying as a school girl or something? Because..." he got up, letting the pen drop to his desk, and was in front of Naruto in a few strides, "I could get into that."

The blond forgot about his task. "No!" he spluttered. "I don't wear panties, what the fuck?!"

"Hn. Then why else would a gay man ask for a panty vending machine?"

Naruto tried his best, he really did. "For Sakura."

"... for Sakura," Sasuke repeated, deadpan.

"Yes. Poor girl was too embarrassed to ask you herself."

The boss exhaled loudly and ran a hand through his hair. "I'll ignore this, Naruto. I'll ignore that you and your group of friends have been doing odd things the past few days, because frankly, I don't feel like dealing with any of it. Just don't do anything too stupid."

Naruto flushed at having being caught. At least he stopped thinking he wore panties. "Like you don't do stupid things," he muttered under his breath. He was going to nod and turn to leave the office when his arm was caught in the other man's grip.

"I didn't catch that. Care to repeat?"

"Not really, no."

Sasuke pushed him against a wall and leaned forward, his mouth right by his ear. "What did you say?" he urged, taking the blond's earlobe between his teeth and flicked his tongue over it. Oh Zeus, Naruto thought, his thoughts beginning to scramble.

"You were talking about stupid things," Naruto said. He really hoped he didn't sound as breathy as he thought he sounded. "What about this?" His breath hitched when he nibbled his ear.

"And you said you weren't against it." At the word 'against,' he pressed his body to Naruto's, pinning the other man against the wall.

"Fuck it," the younger man mumbled and reached up to turn Sasuke's face towards his, smashing their mouths together in a hungry kiss. Hands explored each other's clothed chests as their tongues slid against each other, and Naruto couldn't help the small moan that escaped from his mouth.

"Mr. Uchiha," came Ino's voice from the phone on Sasuke's desk. Naruto has never wanted to hurt someone so badly before, but Sasuke ignored it and kept assaulting his employee's lips instead. "Mr. Uchiha," she tried again, "your brother is on line one, he said it's urgent."

Sasuke tore away from Naruto with an annoyed curse. "Another time," he promised, before going over to his desk to take the call. Naruto straightened his shirt and waited until he looked presentable, gave his boss a wink, who smirked in response, and left.

* * *

"How did he kiss?" Sakura whispered over the lunch room table, eyes wide.

"Fantastic," he answered, pretty sure he had a goofy grin on his face at the moment.

"Lee, did you even do your dare yet?" Kiba interrupted. Now that he mentioned it, what was Lee's dare?

"I have not. I can do it now!" He bolted up from his chair, ignoring Naruto and Sakura asking him what it was, and went to the middle of the cafeteria.

"I want to share my youth with all of you," he shouted, spreading his arms. The cafeteria got quiet and Naruto felt embarrassed for him, though Lee probably didn't care at all. "By singing! Feel free to join me!" Shikamaru groaned, and Lee began.

_"Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light..._"

Faint laughter could be heard passing through the room, which Lee still ignored while he belted out the lyrics quite enthusiastically. Then things got weirder as he paused briefly to run back to the table and jumped up on it dramatically.

"_And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air..._"

Finally he was done, and he bowed to the smattering of applause. Naruto noticed Sasuke had entered the room and was torn between looking amused and looking annoyed. Instead he got out his phone, did something, and gave Naruto a significant look. The blond got out his phone, and sure enough, there was a text:

****Sasuke: After work, dinner and my place.


	5. Date Night

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or The Walking Dead or any of the characters.**

**A/N: Chapter 5! Warning, this chapter has some sexually explicit content. But if some of you guys weren't expecting that to happen at some point in this fic, then... ~ Dunno what to say, haha.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Date Night**

Naruto's shock must have shown on his face, since Lee had sat back down and they were all leaning towards him, trying to see his phone. "He wants to... er... go on a date?" he explained, and he flinched backwards when Sakura gave an ear-piercing squeal.

"That is so sweet! What are you going to do? Minigolf under the stars? Ride horses along the beach? Candlelit picnic?!" She got more and more excited as she pulled daydreams from her head.

"No. More like dinner, then go back to his place." She looked disappointed. "The thought of being with him outside work is kind of weird, actually. We haven't even really talked."

Kiba nodded, understanding his nervousness. "I guess this is when you two will find out if you're compatible as a couple or just on a sexual level."

"As a couple?" Naruto felt his face pale. "I haven't even thought of the idea of Mr. Uchiha being my... boyfriend." The asshole boss he barely talked to and only recently had started having physical relations with, as a boyfriend? The thought boggled his mind.

Shikamaru smirked at him. "Maybe you'll be surprised."

"I doubt it. I also doubt he wants anything more than a bed warmer."

"If that's all he wanted, why would he bother taking you to dinner? It's already guaranteed you'll very willingly go into his bed." Naruto had no response to that one, since he realized the lazy man was right. He was suddenly very nervous about dinner with his boss.

"Lee!" Temari had come running over, andnd Shikamaru started looking elsewhere while the bushy-eyebrowed man looked up. "My niece's birthday party is next week, and I'm wondering if you could perform for it?"

"Me? Perform?!" Oh god, he was about to get excited. "I would be honored to help your youthful niece's birthday bash, Temari! How old will she be?!"

"She's turning seven," she said, looking grateful. "I can pay—"

"NO, NO!" he shouted. "I cannot possibly take any pay. It will be my pleasure!"

"Oh." She looked surprised, though Naruto didn't know why. It's not like she didn't know how Lee was. "Thank you, Lee! I'll email you the details!" And she was gone, while Lee was looking positively delighted.

"Could I possibly go with you?" Sakura asked him.

"Of course! I wouldn't want anyone else to come with me more!" The pink-haired girl flushed. Naruto smirked to himself, seeing the connection, and he looked up at the clock. His stomach twisted, and he looked back at his text.

* * *

Sasuke was waiting for him by the doors on the first floor. He mostly ignored any employees telling him goodbye as they walked past, giving a choice few a head nod and a grunt. So Naruto felt like he stuck out like a sore thumb when Sasuke met up with him and walked outside, leading him to his car. Wasn't this too obvious? Should he just spray paint 'I'M GOING TO FUCK MY BOSS' on the back of his shirt?

"Where are we going?" he asked once he got himself situated in the car and it was started. He was so nervous he felt like he could choke on it.

"I was thinking a nice horse ride along the beach," Sasuke drawled.

The blond laughed. "You heard that, huh?"

"She wasn't quiet. Wasn't hard. Speaking of cafeteria entertainment, what the hell was up with Lee thinking he was auditioning for Glee?"

"Lee. You know Lee. Lee is just... spontaneous. Fun guy." That was a better excuse than some of the others he had given the man before.

"Hn." The rest of the ride was spent in silence. It wasn't too awkward, but Naruto spent most of the time watching the scenery pass from his window. Only when his lip was starting to get sore did he realize he was chewing on it, and promptly stopped.

The car eventually pulled into a parking spot outside a bland-looking building with an Italian name he wouldn't even try to pronounce. He would have thought Sasuke to be the type to frequent fancy, expensive places. Sasuke must have read his thoughts. "Would you prefer a more obvious location for our date?" He smirked.

Naruto gulped. He said it. The d-word. Shikamaru was right, once again. He should listen to him more often. "No, just didn't expect it, is all."

"Get inside, idiot," he huffed as he held the door open. Naruto felt like quite the girl, but he smiled at his boss in thanks, holding the next door open in return. He also didn't expect him to be chivalrous. Then again, how many guys held doors open for their dates while calling them idiots at the same time?

The waiter eyed the two, gave them a pleasant smile, and led them to a secluded booth in the non-smoking area. "Can I get you two gentlemen any drinks? Our complimentary wine, perhaps?" Naruto and Sasuke both accepted the wine, and the waiter handed them each a glossy menu before walking away.

Naruto took a look around the restaurant, appreciating how nice it was inside as opposed to its dull-looking outside. He guessed it was one of those hole in the wall places. His boss cleared his throat, and his attention snapped back to him. "How do you like working at my business?" Ah, work. A safe subject.

"I like working there. I expected it to be a so-so job when I initially gave my resume, but yeah. I don't entertain thoughts of quitting, but it can be kind of tedious sometimes."

"I suppose that's why your group of friends has started doing odd things? Just entertainment purposes?"

Naruto tried not to smirk; he had no idea. "Something like that, yeah."

"Hn. Just don't set anything on fire. And take that stupid fez away from Neji, I'm tired of seeing it."

He couldn't help laughing then. "Yes, sir." His laughing stopped when Sasuke slowly dragged his foot up Naruto's leg, letting it stop at his lower thigh.

"We're not at work, don't call me 'sir,'" he corrected.

The blond cleared his throat, pushing away the thoughts of him finally going back to Sasuke's place. "You got it. So. Why did you get the idea to start a business?"

The raven shrugged. "I was a brat growing up, I guess. I have an older brother, Itachi. Was always ahead of his age, intellectually, but then again so was I. Eventually my father retired from his perch at Red Eye Enterprises—" Naruto gaped; he had no idea he had a link to that, "—and Itachi stepped up. I didn't feel like staying in his shadow so I started Uchiha Inc."

"So the Uchiha family started two booming businesses in some weird sibling rivalry match?"

Sasuke blinked, and to Naruto's surprise, a grin flitted across his face. "I guess you can say that, in a way."

By then the waiter was back with their wine, and they ordered. Naruto had to point at the meal he wanted, once again not even going to try to pronounce it, while Sasuke ordered his in flawless Italian. Well that's a turn-on, definitely.

"What about you? Siblings?"

He shook his head, taking a sip of his wine. "Nah, only child. My parents live here in the city, though; mom's a High School teacher and my dad runs a gym."

"Ah, at least they live close by then. My family is always a busy one, but I was raised that way."

Naruto was now completely at ease, and they spent the rest of the dinner bantering back and forth and discussing their lives and—in Naruto's case—friends. He couldn't help wondering what exactly his boss wanted from him.

It started getting late, the food on their plate was long gone, and Naruto was feeling quite warm and content from the wine as they argued over TV shows. "Dude, no, Rick definitely shouldn't do that. But Michonne should do that mission."

"Why shouldn't Rick kill Carl?"

"That is so messed up!"

"Pfff." That was pretty undignified, coming from the Uchiha. He guessed the wine had gotten to him a bit as well. They eventually got up and gathered their things; Sasuke paid for the meal, Naruto left a nice tip for their waiter.

The car ride was blissfully short, and soon enough he was stumbling through the doorway of Sasuke's house. Or small mansion. Whatever, the need for Sasuke's tongue down his throat was too much so he didn't care.

Apparently Sasuke felt the same, as he was shoved against the wall the moment the door closed and the raven was pressed completely against him, lips hot against his. Naruto wasted no time kissing back as he began untucking his boss' shirt, and opened his mouth when Sasuke trailed his tongue across his lower lip.

Naruto's shirt was also jerked up and he arched his back as Sasuke ran his hands up his shirt, trailing across his chest. The raven's mouth left his own and he started kissing his cheek, his jaw, his neck. There he swiped his tongue around the spot before biting down on it and sucking, causing a low moan from the blond. Naruto's hands found their way in his shirt and over his back as he kept the raven pressed against him, and ground their hips together.

He was jerked away from the wall and led elsewhere in the house, and Naruto was pretty sure they weren't going to the kitchen to make a sandwich. As they walked still facing each other, Sasuke steering him around, they loosened their ties, unbuttoned their shirts and pants. Soon enough they were in a dim bedroom and kissing again, throwing their clothes across the room, leaving both in their boxers.

"Is this your room?" Naruto panted as he looked at his almost-nude boss. This whole thing was kind of surreal, if he had to be honest. Very hot, but surreal. This was his boss. His boss!

"No." He was roughly shoved backwards, coming into contact with and falling back on a soft bed. Sasuke soon followed, straddling him, grinding their erections together. "A spare. My bedroom is upstairs, do you care?"

Naruto responded by moaning and jerking his hips up to meet Sasuke's. He really didn't want to talk anymore. Sasuke smirked, looking feral, and Naruto reached down to remove their boxers as they kept their mouths busy with each other's. A hiss of pleasure came from the raven when he was able to press down on the man under him, flesh meeting flesh.

"Sasuke, please," he whispered.

"Hm?" the raven teased, once more kissing the other's throat, nibbling, sucking.

"Just fuck me, you ass." He was trying to sound snappy, which was very hard at the moment. Instead it came out as a moan. Sasuke bit down hard on his neck, causing him to moan again, pain and pleasure intermingling, before leaning off Naruto to reach for something in the drawer next to the bed.

"Your ass, actually." He heard the click of a bottle closing, and Sasuke's cool finger were at his entrance, gliding in smoothly. Naruto's hands were on the raven's back, fingers digging in as his hips tried to grind up. Sasuke's other hand held him down as he chuckled, sliding in a second.

The fingers pumped in and out, and quickly Naruto felt pleasure searing through him, and he strained against the hand pinning his lower half down. Another low chuckle next to his ear, before his earlobe was taken into his mouth leisurely, the fingers hitting that spot over and over.

Naruto's breaths felt heavy as he pressed the raven down on me, his mouth sucking on any part of the raven it could find, which was mostly his neck and collarbone. He vaguely noticed Sasuke's breathing was getting labored as well, needy. The fingers slipped out and the blond's face was cupped, their mouths meeting in a languid kiss.

Which would be nice if he didn't want his boss in him so badly. "Hurry up," he mumbled, and he felt the other's mouth pull up in a smirk. Prick.

The hands left his face and Sasuke pressed their foreheads together as he got the bottle once more. Naruto heard the beloved click and Sasuke guided himself inside the blond, their eyes never leaving each other's. Both moaned low in their throats as he felt Sasuke fill him.

Sasuke almost pulled all the way out before he slammed back in his employee. Naruto felt his body shudder at the feeling and his hips lifted to meet his. The raven had his hands braced on either side of Naruto as his pace increased. He lowered his head to capture the blond's lips in a needy kiss and one hand left the bed to give Naruto's dick some attention, and Naruto kissed back while matching Sasuke's thrusts almost desperately.

Soon enough Naruto found his release, and Sasuke's followed a few seconds later, biting down once more on Naruto's neck as he did so. He wondered what his neck was going to look like tomorrow; his friends were going to be amused, that's for sure.

His boss half-rested on Naruto for a while, both men panting in the aftermath. He placed a gentle kiss to Naruto's forehead before rolling off to lay next to him. Naruto was looking up at the ceiling, wondering what he was thinking, what he should do now. Did Sasuke want him to leave now? He's been under the impression Sasuke just wanted to do something casual, but some things tonight had him questioning those thoughts.

Without looking at the older man, he said, "I can get a shower, and go home... ?" He restrained from adding 'if you want.' The question sounded pathetic enough as it was.

****Sasuke snorted and rolled to his side, facing Naruto. Without a word he jerked the covers over them and threw an arm and a leg across the blond and dragged his body to his, not letting go afterwards. "Dumbass," he whispered. Naruto settled into Sasuke's body, letting the contentment wash over him; he wasn't going anywhere, then.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to leave any ideas, I'm needing more, especially since a sixth player will be added soon. And a question. I have an idea for another Naruto fic, but I have no idea if anyone would be interested or not? I wouldn't start writing it until after this one is done, but I'm still curious. It's basically fantasy. Inspired by Stardust. Naruto's a fallen star, Sasuke finds him, and... it goes its on path from there, but yeah. Haven't seen too many fantasy AU Naruto fiction so I was curious.**


	6. The Voice In His Head Says That's Hot

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.**

**A/N: It feels like ages since I've last updated this fic, as opposed to just four days. I still feel bad though. Been busy with the other fics and work and some other things, and now my tailbone is hurting like crazy. x_x**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Voice In His Head Says That's Hot**

Lee - 18

Shikamaru - 12

Naruto - 14

Sakura - 13

Kiba - 11

* * *

Naruto woke up on his own the next morning, feeling completely and utterly content. The first thing he saw was a clock, showing he had two hours before he had to leave for work. Then he realized he didn't recognize the clock at all. Or the bed. Or the room, even.

It took a soft sigh that trailed breath over the back of his neck and the movement of an arm draped around his stomach to remember where he was, and what happened last night. He grinned, feeling like a little schoolgirl. He shifted around, trying to turn to face the man sleeping behind him.

Either he was already awake or Naruto woke him up with his movement, since blue eyes met obsidian ones. The fear that Sasuke was going to frown and kick his ass out of bed jolted through him, but that abated when the older man gave a contented smirk and leaned over to give him a kiss.

Any thoughts Naruto was having instantly turned to mush.

* * *

Ugh, Naruto was late. Not to work, thankfully, but with meeting with his friends in the coffee shop. In a way, that was worse; they knew about his date with his boss last night. The same boss who was coming on very strongly to him.

"Stop here," he said, and Sasuke pulled over outside the little building down the street from his business.

"Is this where you and your weird friends meet up now?"

Naruto scowled over at him. "Yeah, well, we were kind of forced out of the break room. It worked out really well, though." Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow at the first part. "Well!" he huffed. "Every time you'd see us in there you'd get all pissy and 'get off my lawn!' at us. You're scary."

Sasuke looked satisfied at being called scary. Naruto rolled his eyes and opened the door, wincing at the pain in his behind. He must have noticed the wince, since he looked even more satisfied, and smirked this time.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up. Asshole." With that he slammed the door to the car, gave the driver a mocking wave, and went inside the shop. As he expected, he was met with a bunch of leering. He sighed and sat down on the couch slowly.

There was silence for a while as his friends just smirked knowingly at him. Apparently they hadn't missed the carefulness sitting down, either. Damn it all. "Yes, the date was fun, yes we hit off, yes, I fucked my boss. Twice. Can we draw from the hats now?"

Kiba made a clawing motion in the air and Sakura was giggling behind her hands, a gleam in her eye. That gleam scared Naruto. Shikamaru just sighed and reached for the hat, his reach falling short. He just sat there, arm extended. Sakura gained control of her self by then and rolled her eyes as he prodded the hat into Shikamaru's reach.

The day's game began.

* * *

Shikamaru sighed for the countless time today. His task was troublesome. Simple, but troublesome. What else was troublesome was Naruto's newfound relationship with the boss. It could potentially blow up in his face, and despite his attitude, Shikamaru _did_ care about his friend. He supposed he would just have to trust the boss to know what he was doing.

He leaned back in his chair, really not feeling up to doing actual work. At least he had his cloud desktop background to keep him cheered throughout the day. And in case he had to have a window up, he had the little paper clouds he put up on the ceiling right above his cubicle. Sure, he had gotten weird looks, but whatever. Too troublesome to care.

Pushing off the wall to wheel his chair over to the doorway to his cubicle, he leaned back a tad so he was able to see Ino. The girl was pretty, with her long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. It was too bad she mooned over the boss and was a bit of bitch.

He saw Sakura walk up to her, a tinfoil hat placed on her head. He withheld a snicker, remembering Sakura complaining about all the tasks concerning wearing something stupid she was getting. He wondered if Neji would be asking for this one as well; he didn't give the fez back yet.

Ino was giving the pink-haired girl a bland look. "Do you need shopping pointers or something, Sakura?"

"Of course not! Why do you ask?"

"... you wore a fez, and now that... thing. You shouldn't have to ask why I'm asking, Billboard."

"Hey, I don't judge you for being so ugly every single day, bitch!" With that she took a folder from the blonde's desk and stomped off in a dramatic huff, leaving an amused-looking Ino.

* * *

Ino watched Sakura depart from her desk, quelling the urge to laugh out loud. They certainly did have an interesting relationship. They grew up together, being neighbors, and were always friends. In High School a now-ex-boyfriend of her's cheated on her with Sakura, and it caused a rift between the two girls. She felt sad thinking back on it, but she'd never admit it out loud.

Her eyes slid to the door her desk guarded. At least she had Sasuke now! I mean, sure, he hasn't given her the time of of day—yet—but they were meant to be. He just didn't realize it. A movement to the side caught her eye, and she looked in that direction to see Shikamaru Nara striding from his cubicle and towards her.

"What do you need?" she asked. The man in front of her just shrugged languidly.

"Just wanted to hand over this file to you for you to hand over to the boss." He held out said file, and she grabbed it and tossed it carelessly to the side of her desk without saying a word. She was starting to get nervous from the way he was looking at her so intently. Usually the man just... wandered everywhere with a blank expression.

He turned to leave before stopping to look at her again. "I also overheard the conversation between you and Sakura. I like your style." He winked and walked away, and Ino felt her eyes going wide. Did Shikamaru just _wink_ at her? He was much too lazy to wink! She found herself watching him depart, and glanced at the clock on the wall. Five minutes until they could go down to the cafe.

A small sound came from the rarely used intercom in the office.

"_Excuse me._" That sounded like Naruto's voice, and she shivered thinking back on the parking lot. He swore the man was gay, what was he doing coming onto her like that anyway? And then she had returned to find her desk labeled. That had been a shitty day.

"_Can Naruto Uzumaki call line two. Naruto Uzumaki, line 2._" The light hum that accompanied the intercom use disappeared, and she sat there dumbfounded, as others were most likely doing as well. She heard a few snorts littered throughout the room.

The door to the boss' office opened, and her precious Sasuke shoved his head out. "Naruto!" he barked.

A blond head poked above a cubicle across the room. "Yes!"

Ooo, the boss sounded frustrated. "My office, lunch." His door slammed shut and Naruto's head had ducked back down, but not before she missed the amused look on his face. Ino sighed. At least the idiot was going to get his wrist slapped for his antics.

* * *

Chouji was sitting in his cubicle eating a bag of Cheetos. Something which he seemed to have in hand constantly. Sure, lunch was in a few minutes. Sure, it had gotten to the point where his boss was tired of seeing him holding some sort of bagged food and ripped whatever he was eating at the moment out of his hands and into the nearest trash can.

But Chouji loved his food, dammit! It's not like he cared about what Mr. Uchiha thought. Or that lunch was soon; he'd eat that, too.

He felt a presence in his cubicle and he turned in his seat to see Lee, the quirky thick-browed boy who constantly tried to impress Sakura. "Hi Lee, what's up?"

Lee was looking rather empowered as he lifted a clenched fist up in the air and said very quickly, "An aged idiom convinces his his incorporating cake, but the volunteer's sock lurks on top overhead. Then again, the luxury strikes on top of the bed and without the vehicle it chews the sand!" And he left just as quickly as he arrived.

Chouji sat there for a moment, with a chip frozen halfway to his mouth as he stared at the spot where he had just seen Lee. He blinked a few times, shrugged, and turned back around as he tossed the chip into his awaiting mouth.

* * *

Kiba was smirking as he watched his best friend run into the cafeteria ten minutes after the rest of them had gotten there, looking dishevelled, his hair crazier than usual. Which he didn't think was possible, but leave it to the Uchiha to achieve that.

"The voice in my head says he's glad you finally join us for lunch," he said as Naruto slipped into the seat across from him. They were used to him referring to his little mental voice but that didn't stop them from being annoyed, even if they knew why he was doing it.

Meanwhile he had gotten weird looks all day. Chouji had thrown one of his precious chips at him, Ino kicked him in the shin, and Shino kept staring at him. At least he thought so, anyway. Shino always wore sunglasses, so he was just kind of guessing on that front.

"Oh, I've already eaten," Naruto replied, waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"God dude, the voice in my head did _not_ need to know that!"

In complete contrast, Sakura had turned in her seat to face the new arrival. "Details!" she demanded. Girls were weird.

Kiba stuffed his fingers in his ears, as Naruto looked completely ready to dish the dirt. Sadly, that didn't work all that well. "He called me into his office after I called myself over the intercom. After everyone left I went in and we had sex on his desk."

"That is so _hot_!" Yeah, girls were definitely weird.

Shikamaru spoke up. "Naruto, you're being careful with this situation, right?"

"The voice in my head says that, yes, in case you forgot, you're fucking your boss."

The blond huffed. "Of course I haven't forgotten! And we're being careful."

Kiba had sighed and propped his cheek up on a palm, elbow resting on the table. Then why did it feel like something was about to happen to their cozy little group, and soon?

* * *

**I've been thinking about what direction I want to go with this fic, and I decided I want to do the entire month, so we can see the winners. Just the almost-daily lives of our batshit crazy group. With that said, I'm going to need more dares. Around 131, and I already have 81 (I'm counting ones I've already used as well). And it will probably be a bit over 30 chapters, since I'll also be doing some chapters that don't focus on office tasks but on weekend events, or after-work stuff. You get it.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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